I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
