i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
