Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
So many bounce houses so little time
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
