i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
my shit smells like andre
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
