yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
zippers are such a cool invention
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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