Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
