Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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