Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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