what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
