i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
