Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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