went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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