i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
