she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
