Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Randomize
