He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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