My hand turned me down
I seem to have left my pride at pride
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
