And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
