Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
