i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
