even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
