i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
