she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
