I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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