I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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