I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
