I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
