I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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