I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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