he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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