Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
