We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
