this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
my poor anus
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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