Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
