Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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