we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i was born a porn star she said
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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