You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
