eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
