i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
