I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
