I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
