Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Randomize
