Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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