The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
