i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
