He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I checked into jail on foursquare
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
