He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Too much gin, very little bucket
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
