My liver just broke up with me...
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
