lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
