I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
