Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
