Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I need to sanitize my soul.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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