I feel like I'm in dance class right now
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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