yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
