So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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