Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
